Greetings everyone!
I am here to announce the closure of my JC1 education regime, thereby embarking on JC2 quest a month later.
I will be flying off to nepal this coming monday, but right now, I am experiencing ambivalency. I am in no position to determine how I am feeling right now. Mysteriously, I am psychologically unprepared for the trip, and I have no idea why i cannot ignite the innate passion in me. Don’t ask me why, because I don’t have the answer too.
Yesterday was the last day of school. My last week as a J1 is seemingly happening. Somehow, things got wrong because of my own actions, I have myself to blame. Things got wrong in school, things got wrong personal. But fret not, I am cool about it, currently trying to reach to some sort of resolution.
A reflection throughout the whole year, I consider myself as a lucky one.
- First, I got into 09S15 class, a class whereby i meet different people, good or bad, having the capability of evoking humor out of nothing! A class that pushes me rigorously, striving excellence in leadership and academics. I am very glad for that. 09S15 will stay as it is, as we received 100% promotion! Great job people!
- Secondly, I consider myself as lucky for being one of the many many who got into ODAC this march. ODAC is a fun CCA to be in, having immersed ourselves in numerous activities and sports, indulge in endless birthday chase and poles, diversed our approaches and thinking to different scenerios and also unknowingly and inevitably being induced into a single team – TEAM ODAC.
- Lastly, got into OGL. It is a prestigeous post i find, and i really wanted it badly. Deeply inspired by my previous four OGLs, i decided to give this opportunity a go when Geelyn was announcing the opening of applications for leaders. Really, i found myself lucky. Neither am I a charismatic guy, nor am I a high profile leader in college. God, i accept this gift from you, and I vow i give in my 100% commitment into this.
My long awaited December holidays is finally here. Time for me to chuck away my laptop and concentrate on studying. No more will I have the excuse of switching on the comp for PW, ultimately finding myself falling into an endless pit of procarstination brought upon by numerous distractions (i.e facebook, twitter and youtube). I promised my dad that I will turn the tables around during the common test, and I want to be a man of my words. You get what i mean. However, the sight of the piling holiday assignments is making me reconsider that promise.
Right now my emotions are in a mess. I’ve got to sort it out properly. Going to nepal, mountaineous region, for meditation. Back in december.
Somehow, my life these days are pretty great!
Firstly, i had been enjoying myself these days. Outings after outings, movies after movies. It is costly, but i feel that they are all worth it. A brief outline. I went to catch two shows on thursday, basketball on friday, dragonboat on saturday, eileenkhoo birthday on sunday and movies again today. Tiring it seems, but i enjoyed myself a lot.
Whatthehell, i got screwed the moment i reach home. I spent too much these days. My mother is the surveillance camera for my accounts, overseeing every transactions, often demanding a clear explanation for goods which i paid using NETS.(now you know why i hate paying by NETS). And today, she was no exception. She interrogate me with regards to the sudden peak in spending, and probed deep into my accounts and spending. Soon i got to realize she wants to know what i have been doing, who am i hanging out with. A typical conversation goes like this
Mum: Where did you spend this amount of money?
Me: Movies loh, with friend.
Mum: Which friend? ODAC?
Me: Secondary school friends
See, from this she can ask about my life. What a smart move. I am going to adopt this when I am a father. Theoretically and morally, she is not wrong to ask and probe into my life, but I do feel constraint by her words, and had a resentment feeling about it.
Hmm, I should talk about dragonboat. It is a really fun experience. My backmuscles still feels pain even today. Cannot forget the moment whereby Zhiyong got slapped by a dead and decomposing fish. Believe it or not, he got the stench for the whole day, even after he bathed. The whole thing was fun, had fun splashing water at one another and of course, throwing the fish around. Its like catching on dragonboats.
I am trying not to think about academics, but i’ve got a damn chemistry notes in front of me. Been through lectures today, apparently cannot catch anything. I need to start my revision already! Or i will be dead next year.
The day of results, I feel pretty much uneasy in school. I did get promoted, but many of my friends didn’t. ODAC lost quite a few people, but lucky enough everyone in my class gets promoted. My promotion was rather unexpected, but it was a scrape through. But i do not feel happy too, because of the intense atmosphere in school today. Cheer up friend!
I know i suck at consoling people, so today i just shut my mouth up. Please do not get the wrong idea that I do not care. I do, my friend. After all, once you are my friend, you will always be! Don’t think so much! Think in a more optimistic manner! Look on to the bright side of life my friend!
I have about two months to study before curriculum starts next year. I promised my dad that I will ensure i will never scrape through exam again, and i must live up to my own words. Hence, I decided to start studying now. Maybe once I return from nepal, i will lock away my laptop. I have got lots of bad habits which i got to rectify in this period of time, and i guess nepal trip will be an excellent chance for me to do so. I read a book before, and it says to kick a habit, you have to stop doing it for at least a week. Nepal trip is more than two weeks, i should be able to do so. Edison! Jiayou! As friends, dear readers, please try to nag at me when you see me online during the december holidays!
This period of time is critical. I just scrape through my exams, and it sucks too. Next year the A monster is coming, and one year isn’t enough. I should try, and experience, what miracles can this one month does. Perhaps I just found my ideal studying mates, right now the challenge is to balance individual and group study time with them.
Ciao, I’ve got to do other things. So many things on hand now. Well, today i just watched 2012 and paranormal activity, feels so great. I strongly recommend 2012.
At last, after eight months of torment, i am liberated from the tentacles of project work. Two weeks ago, we submitted our WR, which numbered up to 100 pages plus. And somehow, that did gave me a strong sense of achievement. First report in seventeen years.
The guy in black is my tutor, Mr. Koh, whose artistic handwriting never fails to drive me nuts.The first picture is my PW group, four person group, but it owns. Today we handed in the last piece of PW work, marking the end of the journey. What lies ahead will be due to god’s intervention now, and probably some work of angels.
Life is going to be tough now. I am not sure if i can get promoted. I certainly hope I do, but at the same time, filled with emotion ambiguity. Today zhengyu dug my wound again, causing me to be scared once more. Thanks friend.
Now i shall face tomorrow with confidence. If i make it through, what awaits me is an avalanche of lectures, speeding down at such terrifying speed, engulfing everyone’s happiness.
It has been a hectic period lately, both with work and procrastination.
My MT ended on monday. I hope that’s my last chinese paper in my life, but hey, maybe it isn’t. I am not feeling very confident about it, having a few wrong mistakes here and there. I had since prepared myself for the worse.
PW is getting insane these days. With the endless WR rushing last week, I almost broke down. Days of slacking accumulated, and ending up, we had to do a lot more to WR, even going to the extent of retyping the whole report. We did it at last, well done groupmates. I printed a copy of WR to keep as souvenir. It is now on top of my study desk, sitting pompously. I looked at it in admiration now and then, it gives me a sense of accomplishment i’ve never had.
During these few days, we were busy practicing OP. We practiced from dusk to dawn, then the next day dusk to dawn again. My group and CK group practice together, and the two groups had since got so saturated of each other’s slide then we can recite their presentation and script. Somehow, it is these few days or weeks, that made me love PW more. I am starting to love the subject. Ultimately, I am super pleased with our topic – Pandemics.
Life goes on. Work does not mean no play. I am glad that I have a group of good friends to talk to me every night on MSN. Seriously, chatting online alleviates the stress that i had, which is minimal. Thank you thank you.
ODAC training. Life has been tougher and getting more ridiculous nowadays. This is because we are preparing for our nepal trip, and these training are in place to help us survive better in the extreme climate. We have to train and condition our cardiac and lungs, as well as legs and back muscles. These trainings tires me out totally, for instance, i fell right asleep after dinner. From 9 p.m to 7 a.m. The worst thing being, i did not set my alarm clock, so thanks lynette for the morning call! Or i will be late for school today, again.
I am starting to love life more and more. Getting more motivated to study. Please, i pray to lord, that i will study hard, and allow me to promote. Please lord.
I vividly recalled, one year back, my friend announced that he completed NikeHuman race ‘08. I could pull back in amusement, admiration and envy. Today, i am very glad that i completed the Nike Human Race too!
I shall talk some outline. Samuel and Jinlong came over to my house for a sleepover, but apologetically, they could not take my dad’s car because too many people is taking it. Very sorry for that, but they should be proud that they get to sleep in Edison’s room, one of the holiest place in world.
My dad drove me and few others to Singapore Flyer. I really think my dad is wonderful. He woke up at 5 a.m just to drive me there, then he went back home and sleep. Nice dad i have, i feel so blessed. At the same time, i feel so apologetic to him, for bad promos results. Sidetracked, now back to main track.
Nike+ Run started all well. I see much more different faces. Compared to SAFRA, there are far more girls in this run. Notably, i spotted a few good looking ones, most unforgettable is two tanned looking girls, pretty and tall, i believe that they were the only two girls who ran past me. I spotted a few PJC students, perhaps they were doing CIP.
I see every occasion as a learning lesson. This run provided me with great insights. At the starting line, I spotted this guy who has all the equipments on. Heart rate monitor, sunglasses, tights. I recalled an article about joggers i read in reader digest a few months back. Indeed, there is three kinds of joggers. One runs for passion, one runs for health, and one, runs for monetary expression. I don’t quite understand what’s monetary expression, but i interpreted it as an expression of one status. One more i can conclude, is one that runs, possibly, for the sporting image attached to running as a sport.
My conclusion isn’t without stand. At the Nike run, during the course of the run, I see a guy, topless, wearing aerodynamic shorts, shoes, with a very nice looking hair which is well taken care of. A very sporting image, walking during the run, limping. His facial expression tells me that he is having cramps or something, and he got a company of girls, circling around him. I do not know the true story, but I interpret his actions as a way to get around with girls, something i hate the most, out of all the bad habits. I hate people who uses sports or music as a tool to get attention, i really hate them.
That paragraph is typed recklessly. I don’t know what made me typed that. That is my genuine feelings, my attitude to life. Straight-forward and unconservative.
Anyway back to myself. ODAC training yesterday, we did ART, and that left my thighs in pain. I thought i couldn’t complete, but nevertheless completed lah. Wonderful experience. It set me thinking.
Ultimately, its the bus ride i dread about. Somehow, somewhat, the bus ride home from city hall to cck took me nearly two hours. I should have better known myself, bad with directions. I should have taken MRT instead.
Dread PW and Chinese too. Stuck with these two subjects for the next 10 days or so?
Had a sudden feeling to study H2s again.
So all the nightmares that had haunt me is real. As described in the nightmares, i will flunk promos.
And it has became a reality. I flunked promos! Despite passing four subjects for promos, my trajectory remains unknown. By the promos paper, i seemed to have met the promotional criteria, however, I am not sure if that’s the case for overall result. Right now, I can only hold my hands together and pray, to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
The flying spaghetti monster is not crap, nor it is a act of randomness. However such creature indeed exist.
Strange it seems. And that was what i thought so too.
I took a glimpse at the clock hanging on my wall, and gosh, it’s 20 October now. I should be taken by surprise, because A levels are approaching. My MT A levels, are coming in a few days time. I thought to myself, “hey come on, this is the last days of chinese to you”, but i still could not find the motivation to force myself to sit at the desk to study.
Days are counted. Looking forward to this saturday!
Today is a significant date, much things happened today.
First of all, today is the last official day for J2 to report to school. The school had a farewell assembly. Since this is the last day of school, all the J2s left early for celebration, and i find the school more remote and quiet than usual. Apparently, I came to a conclusion that J2s are the ones who made college a lively place. Time passed very quickly, my orientation days seems not long ago. Vividly, i still remember my OGLs and ODAC seniors, those whom make college meaningful, those whom made college fun.
I will never forget CJ, triton, JK, joshua and daryll as J2 seniors. Even though JK seems to be a child, but life without him in college, won’t be fun. I remembered the orientation days, where i was bored sometimes, he will pop out from nowhere with his DSLR, elatedly, sharing random snapshots of pretty girls in PJC. Of course, i got into some implications that day because of him, a sensational one, but yah, these random snapshots gives my boring life a static jerk. JK, I will still see him often because of AOTJ, so I won’t miss him ultimately. But argh! No JK in college = no photos! Life will be black and white.
Next is the ODAC seniors. CJ and Triton occasionally crapped with me when we bump into each other in school. Now that they are gone, life will not be as interesting. Not being condemning, but the class I am in indeed doesn’t give lots of excitement and fun.
In the farewell assembly, I kept thinking. Wild thoughts keep flashing up to my mind. I reflected on what I did for the year, and realized that i had not put in as much effort as i could. My life is full of regrets since primary school. I must put a halt to all these regrets. A teacher once asked rhetorically , “What would be your regrets when you are on your deathbed?”
A reflection for the whole year. I am glad my social circle had expanded, at least quadrupled. But other aspects of life, such as academics and character, I had not improved on them. Here is something that I would like to share. Up till today, I had not had a single studying habit. I am lazy, complacent, and always put in last minute work. My work etiquette is poor, and my productivity is low. I always day-dream in school, even though I appeared interested to the lecturer or tutor, but most of the time, my thoughts drifted far apart.
Today’s reflection made me realized something, that perhaps a repeated year isn’t that bad after all. I will get another chance to improve on these things, and ultimately, my aim is A levels right. No matter if i complete in two years or three years, it is still, an A level certificate.
But wait! I cannot talk about retaining. My results are not out, and worrying or cursing myself will only make myself more miserable. On a lighter note, I had just tendered my application for OGL. I really treasure the chance to be one very much, and i cannot afford to retain. I got a group of fun-loving CCA-mates revolving and dominating my world, this is something that I cannot let go. Also 09S15, I cannot leave it! My tutors are nice, and i cannot ask for anything more.
The reflections, I will post and read it on tuesday afternoon. Then I will decide on what to do.
I couldn’t contain my excitement anymore. I just received the NIKE RACE PACK just now! Something I hoped for finally arrive. I swear that the 20 dollars is worth it! The shirt is of normal NIKE shirts on shelf, quality wise, and expected, it is super comfortable. I also received a NIKE water-bottle as a complimentary gift, something in stores now, selling for 20 dollars each. Freakishly, it is the EXACT same water-bottle i carried last year.
I had not prepare for the race. Time for me to put on those old pairs of running shoes and jog! Promos are over and I couldn’t find any reason not to condition myself.
Just a short post before I start work.
I hate PW!!!
Strangely, this sentence had appeared on my blog for ages. But now, then i start to ponder and think. Do I really hate PW as a subject?
On a side track, this post is supposed to be secluded, but i couldn’t find ways to lock this post and i got a burning sensation to write it up.
PW, is actually a topic I really enjoy. I like typing reports, expressing my creativity, thoughts and insights. I have a wonderful tutor, and I do not lack anything. Maybe i am just alienated, I simply lack the communication skills to converse with my mates, ending up having all parties being unhappy.
I have some really burning words to spurt out, but i shall control them as some words are not meant to be on the web. Alternatively, I could not help it, but to shout the word ‘ Fuck it ‘.
Don’t ever associate me with a barbarian or hooligan. I said fuck for a reason. ‘Fuck’, a four letter word, expresses many things. It can be used as a verb, a noun, and seemingly, it is a culture in some countries, say America, where Fuck is so common that even the board of directors of leading banks uses them. There is a reason for this, sometimes, fuck just alleviate pain. In typing the word ‘fuck it’, i hope i made it clear of how much torment i am under, how much anger i had endure, and how much discontentment i had put up.
Coming up, oral presentation. I lacked the charisma, and I am getting so stressed up about it. How i wish i had a quarter of Barack Obama’s charisma, to win the hearts of examiners.
Wednesday marks the end of promos, I see angry faces, sad faces, happy faces. But one that stands out is my face, which shows nothing but bankruptcy.
My personal post-promos activities is super fun. I had never been so crazy before. I considered myself as lucky, for having a social circle which is much more outgoing and jovial then before. The days after promos, are marked by gatherings and expeditions.(I refuse to remember the endless amount of PW meetings!). But as expected, everything cost money.
So, within a few days, i drained my wallet and NETS completely, being drive to the resort of forwarding pocket money from my mum. As such, i declare myself as bankrupt, completely. I do not know how to pay my mother the money back, since my pocket money is ‘just enough’ to satisfy my endless demand of outings.
I am so poor now. Opening a donation drive, who is interested?
Let me look on the bright side of life. Money is one that makes me sad, and now i choose to forget about it.
These few days i kept going out. I especially enjoyed the fishing outing yesterday. What used to be a four man hobby, had tentacled its way to a 10+ men hobby, even including non-ODAC members. Yesterday was lucky, i caught a few irritating eels, and renjie caught a huge bank of fishes, ranging from stingray to crabs. I am green with envy.
After which, i catch a 3 hours nap before heading to CIP. I have to make it today because i would not be free for the next two weeks. Super tired i must say, and i am proud to declare that i made a interesting discovery! Guess! 
